Midlife Manoeuvres: How to Recognise and Overcome Limiting Beliefs

Introduction:

Do you recognise the ‘red flags’ in your relationship with yourself, especially during midlife? It’s time to explore how to overcome limiting beliefs that hold you back. Today we’re going to examine what limiting beliefs are, how we get them, and see examples. Most crucially, we’ll consider how to overcome limiting beliefs.

Many of the reasons we ‘get in our own way’ can be attributed to limiting beliefs. They might be a product of trying to protect ourselves, wanting to feel special, or a distorted self-perception of our worth.

I’ve previously held myself back in several ways. For example, telling myself that I would ‘live abroad again WHEN…’ Recognising that I created this restriction myself was the first step to freeing myself from it. Let's get to know how to identify limiting beliefs and eliminate them.

What Are Limiting Beliefs?

Limiting beliefs can be described in several ways. The restrictive thoughts limiting me from living abroad is one example. Subconscious assumptions about ourselves that place limitations on our abilities would be another. And thoughts or convictions believed to be absolute truths yet another.

Common characteristics of these beliefs include:

1. Defence Mechanisms: These unconscious thoughts allow us to avoid potential frustrations, failure, and disappointment.

2. Negative Perceptions: They originate from the way we have interpreted our past experiences.

3. Risk Prevention: They stop us from pursuing new opportunities or growing.

For many midlife women, these beliefs can be particularly strong due to life changes such as children leaving home, career transitions, or health concerns. Recognising these limiting beliefs is usually our first challenge.

For example, gratitude journaling helped me recognise that my own 'reasons' were the only thing preventing me from living abroad.

Why Do We Get Limiting Beliefs?

When we dig a little deeper, the underlying reasons limiting beliefs are formed include:

1. Past Experiences: Traumatic or negative events can shape our thoughts and perceptions. For example, spending time in the hospital as a baby made me cling to my mom, with the probable underlying belief being she might leave me again.

2. Criticisms: Unduly negative feedback from parents, teachers, or bosses can erode self-confidence. For example, being told to 'be quiet' a lot left me feeling I needed to try harder to please. The underlying belief being I needed to do better.

3. Lack of Self-Awareness: Failing to recognise and understand our own thoughts, emotions, and behaviours can perpetuate limiting beliefs. For example, I needed to fully take on board that 'we are who we think we are.'

4. Negative Self-Talk: The way we talk to ourselves can be a significant obstacle to overcoming limiting beliefs. For example, I've needed to train myself to say, 'I can't YET.'

5. Fear of Failure or Rejection: Fear of failure or rejection can lead to limiting beliefs, as we may avoid taking risks or pursuing opportunities. For example, not going after that promotion, or asking to join that group.

6. Social and Cultural Influences: Societal and cultural norms can shape us. For example, gender, age, or racial biases can influence our perception of our abilities and potential.

7. Lack of Exposure and Experience: Limited exposure to new experiences, skills, or environments can reinforce 'limitations', as we may not have the opportunity to challenge or disprove them.

These factors can interact with individual personality traits, values, and goals to shape our limiting beliefs. Recognising and understanding these influences can be the first step towards overcoming and replacing them with more empowering beliefs.

Beliefs That Hold You Back
(Available as a downloadable PDF)

Why Aren't More of Us Overcoming Our Limiting Beliefs?

As mentioned, some limiting beliefs can be challenging to overcome, as they are deeply ingrained. Let's take a closer look:

1. They're Often 'Automatic': Primarily, these beliefs are:

• Usually Habitual: They are operating beneath conscious awareness, making it harder to recognise and challenge them.

• Closely Tied to Identity: Beliefs about oneself, such as “I’m not good enough,” can be deeply tied to one’s sense of self, making it hard to disentangle and change.

• For example, believing that we’re too set in our ways to adapt to changes such as menopause, retirement, or having an empty nest.
  

2. Fear and Comfort Zone: People may resist overcoming limiting beliefs because:

• Fear of Uncertainty: Changing beliefs can lead to uncertainty and unpredictability, which can be uncomfortable and even frightening.

• Fear of Failure: The risk can be daunting, causing individuals to stick with what’s familiar, even if it’s holding them back.

• Comfort Zone: They can provide a sense of security and familiarity, making it difficult to face the unknown.

• For example, believing that others will judge us for not conforming to traditional midlife expectations, and that we’ll be left feeling embarrassed.
  

3. Lack of Awareness: Some may not overcome limiting beliefs because of:

• Insufficient Self-Awareness: Without recognising their presence, it’s challenging to address and change them.

• Inadequate Self-Reflection: Omitting to examine thoughts, emotions, and behaviours can hinder the identification and challenging of limiting beliefs.

• For example, when we are comparing ourselves unfavourably to peers or younger individuals. We’re left feeling inadequate or regretful when if we reflected on our own accomplishments, we would find evidence to the contrary.
  

4. External Factors: Can also contribute to the persistence of limiting beliefs:

• Social and Cultural Influences: Expectations can reinforce limiting beliefs, making it harder to overcome them.

• Lack of Support and Resources: Without access to supportive environments, resources, or guidance, individuals may struggle to overcome them.

• For example, thinking that it’s too late to make significant changes in life, such as pursuing a new career or starting a business, due to age. In reality, no one but us can decide this.
  

By acknowledging the complexity and depth of limiting beliefs, we can better understand the challenges we face and develop strategies to overcome them. The first step is to recognise that we have them. It’s time to let go of societal expectations and embrace our true selves – imperfections and all. We’re beautiful just as we are.

How to Identify Limiting Beliefs

There are several ways we can detect limiting beliefs. I've mentioned how journaling helps me. The daily prompts I receive encourage me to look at life considering different periods, people, places, situations, and perspectives. As I reflect on the prompts, I become aware of the patterns I have.

Other methods to consider include:

1. Reflect on Recurring Thoughts: Then ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts or assumptions.

2. Examine Emotional Responses: Recognise how you react to certain situations or people. Do you avoid or procrastinate due to fear of failure or rejection?

3. Explore Your Comfort Zone: Identify areas where you feel safe and comfortable, and those where you feel anxious or uncertain. Limiting beliefs often serve as a protective mechanism to avoid discomfort or perceived risk.

4. Investigate Your Earliest Memories: Reflect on times when you were fearless and curious. This can help you identify how limiting beliefs may have developed over time, influenced by others’ thoughts or experiences.

5. Track Your Mental Health and Emotions: Monitor your anxiety triggers, emotional states, and progress over time. This can help you recognise patterns and identify limiting beliefs.

In this way, we can become more aware of limiting beliefs and then we can begin to challenge and overcome them. We’ve accomplished so much in life already, and we’re capable of navigating this hurdle with confidence and resilience.

But first, let's look at some common examples.

Examples of Limiting Beliefs

Here are 5 of the most common limiting beliefs that can impact us, especially in midlife:

1. I’m Not Good Enough: This belief can lead to self-doubt, fear of failure, and a lack of confidence.

2. I’m Not Worthy: Creates feelings of inadequacy, low self-esteem, and a sense of not being deserving of success or happiness.

3. I’m Too [Something]: Limits our potential by making us feel we're too late or too early to pursue our dreams.

4. I’m Not Capable: Makes us feel stuck and unable to adapt to new situations or challenges.

5. I’m Not in Control: Leaves us feeling powerless, helpless, and unable to take control of our lives.

Recognising which of these examples are playing out in your life can help you break free from their constraints. Realising these beliefs as they have been playing out in our lives can feel overwhelming and emotional. Whatever we’re feeling – it’s a normal part of this journey, and we can come out the other side.

How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs

We have already seen the first step is to recognise that we have them. Here are some suggestions for what to do next:

1. Challenge the Beliefs:

• Ask yourself questions like “Is this belief really true?”

• Seek objective perspectives and facts to challenge your beliefs

• Practice self-reflection and self-compassion
  

2. Develop Alternative Beliefs:

• Create new, empowering beliefs that align with your values and goals

• Repeat positive affirmations to reprogram your mind

• Surround yourself with positive influences and role models
  

3. Practice Mindfulness and Self-Awareness:

• Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions in the present moment

• Recognise when you’re caught up in negative thought patterns

• Take a step back and reframe your thoughts to focus on the present
  

4. Seek Support and Accountability:

• Share your limiting beliefs with a trusted friend or mentor

• Join a support group or community that aligns with your values and goals

• Work with a coach or therapist to overcome your limiting beliefs
  

5. Act and Practice Self-Care:

• Take small steps towards your goals and celebrate your successes

• Practice self-care and prioritise your well-being

• Focus on building your strengths and skills
  

6. Let Go of the Need for Control:

• Recognise that you can’t control everything, and that’s okay

• Practice acceptance and surrender

• Focus on what you can control and take action towards your goals
  

7. Practice Gratitude and Positive Thinking:

• Focus on the good things in your life and express gratitude

• Practice positive thinking and visualisation

• Create an environment with positive influences and role models
  

8. Develop a Growth Mindset:

• Embrace challenges and view them as opportunities for growth

• Focus on learning and improvement

• Practice self-compassion and resilience
  

9. Celebrate Your Progress:

• Acknowledge and celebrate your progress and successes

• Focus on the present moment and the progress you’re making

• Practice self-care and prioritise your well-being.
  

Remember, releasing limiting beliefs takes time, patience, and practice. Be kind to yourself as you work through this process. We’ve got this! We’ve navigated tricky situations before, and we can do it again. Let’s trust our instincts and listen to our inner voice.

4 Steps to Release Limiting Beliefs
(Available as a downloadable PDF)

Think You Can, And You're Almost There

Once we have recognised the beliefs and identified their root cause we've made a huge dent into overcoming them. Questioning their validity and reframing them into something empowering takes over the finish line with continued practice.

I've found that taking small steps, consistently, is a gamechanger. Similarly, recognising that sometimes I'll slip up is helpful. It's the getting back up that counts.

The results far outweigh the work. I've been living abroad for over eighteen months now, and I'm loving it!

Beat those beliefs. Start discovering your world without limits TODAY!

FREE Downloads

Try this practical exercise PDF to get you started: CLICK HERE

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Download your '4 Steps to Release Limiting Beliefs' Infographic: CLICK HERE

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